hot hot heat

it's a 100mg thc orange cream soda. serving sizes are something you are not familiar with. it's not a bowl or bong or blunt, it's a soda, how bad can it be? it tastes like orange creamsicles, just a faint hit of it at the end, of something more. the hotel room is drab but it is brightened by her. you are about to take a swig and she stops you, use the shot glass, it's what was recommended. she always looks out for you. one shot, and then half a chocolate, also that hint of grassiness at the very end. lie down. lie down. lie down. nothing, and then everything. the tv is funny. it's all funny. and then it's her hands. they're always warm but now they are hot. your skin is scalding from the touch. you think for a second how wild it is your mind can convince you something is happening that is not, her hands are not irons. your body shakes. and shakes. and shakes. it's all ok, though. the rental car is damaged, the food is fast, the traffic is furious, the drug's too strong, but it's all ok. you have her. you have her. you have her. what's one night too stoned in amidst a lifetime in love? earlier in the night you were so upset, so anxious. the heat from her hands melts it away. you don't know when you fall asleep.

moving day

it's a saturday after noon and it's the only option. move it around. shuffle it. one box goes from kitchen to guest room. nobody uses the guest room right now so it's ok. it's so, so easy. just move it. it can get you published. john stossel once wrote that global warming isn't a big deal because people can just move. move from the coasts, move from the islands. like moving this box. lift and set. room to room. still a roof over its head. it's just a box.

at work one day people talked about how easy it really is. they talked about california, about the homeless  people. they solved it. why not just move to arizona where it's much cheaper? all those homeless people could just leave LA for phoenix. and really, they don't have a house, so it's much easier to move than it is for most? just lift and set. it's just a box.

the tongs are moved from a canister that is too full to a shelf that is not. it's easier to find them now. a good move. the problems are shuffle around to. the school has always been one, it's just moved. first from uni, than community college, than online. life and set. it's so expensive and restrictive and feels like committing in blood. a degree for life. set in stone. it's just a box, right? just a piece of paper. it means nothing.

it feels so human. just move it. change the location. the grass is greener. re-arrange the space. change the energy. leave the rural decaying towns, you know, change is good, right? it's your fault if you stay.  the cities are where it's at. leave the family, leave the childhood. leave skid row, it's too expensive, what's wrong with you? you always have to be moving. the commercials say so. "this one is for the doers" says an ad that tells me if i am not moving, not going, i am worthless. i'd look better if i moved more. my sister had a roommate once who shifted his furniture around every few months. completely moved his bed, shelves, tv, everything. the liquor bottles didn't move though. they were always there in his box. that's all it was i think. who knows really?

but then it all doesn't matter. the desk is 9 hours. i can't leave the desk. i'd get criticized. in trouble. the homework demands it, the job demands it. i can't move. maybe none of us ever have. it seems so easy. lift and set. it's just a box. it's just a life. it's juts a moving day.