We Used to Pretend We Would Be Happy

April changed over to May, you know. You made me promise to move somewhere like LA and send a pic of a sunset on the beach or a sunrise with a coffee or just me being able to wear regular clothes in the middle of January. That was years ago.

April changed to May, you know. You wouldn't guess with the weather. But the weather is boring and to perpetuate the dialogue is something I don't wish to do. You used to talk about seeing the world, or maybe at least Paris and London and Seoul.

April changed to May, you know. The pills rattle around their bottle in the pocket of my khakis, nobody asks me what the noise is and if they did I would have no answer, for to medicate is to be weak and sickly and wrong. America medicates. I've been at this job since 2009. That long, really? I used to tell you how one day I would quit and get a job where I could actually meet people and make friends and then I was almost 30 and it didn't matter because two decades of a wasted life can be three before you know it.

April changed to May, you know. Mother's Day is coming. Perhaps something nice will come in the mail for my mother and other mothers and then you can forget how I messed up something and left a stranger with an odd communication and necklace and wondering who was who. Maybe one day you'll get away from your city and your family and we can talk about how you love the snow and I hate it.

April changed to May, you know. There are people driving cars that were born this century now. The flowers outside my front porch bloomed and then fell to the ground and the bees no longer swarm their purple visage that has been engulfed by gravity and lies discarded.

April changed to May, you know. Maybe this would be the year. The year where things changed. The year where we travelled, the year where we made friends, hung out, made memories, had fun. You told me life sucked and I agreed and we laughed and I drank alcohol and took benzos and tried to go into a coma but all I got was a shitty headache.

April changed to May, you know, but what's a change in name, anyhow?