matter of time

every mistake ever made is yours and it's ok because you're used to it right? you messed up the other day and the other day before that and you will again. will it be today? tomorrow? the weekend? who knows. you know because it's all you know and you expect and it will be your fault because it is, and you hope others will forgive you because you won't forgive yourself. each source of discomfort in any arena; social, work, academic, is your fuckup and your fuckup alone and one day you want to be perfect but perfect always takes so long, because it doesn't exist, and yet still you cower in fear of each mistake you will make, by saying or doing the wrong thing, not being enough, being too anxious, being too dumb, falling short of expectations. the next big mistake is a matter of time. you will be there to see it.