ny/ny (new year new you)

you know it wasn't like, a really long streak or anything, but for several new years there you combined xanax and alcohol until you collapsed onto your bed and that was it. your last new years you didn't and that was good, and then this one you didn't either (there were other things). you were very happy this time. happy when midnight hit, happy in the leadup to it, happy all the next day, happy about a 2019 that you thought could build on 2018. you used to not make resolutions because you knew you'd fail. now you're smarter. it isn't even about whether you 'fail' or not. you are here and you are home and you are in love. resolutions are just another possibility.