____ Oneself

The present author, being an abject doofus, has, at times, contributed to the shortly-hereafter-to-be-mentioned harmful trope as an expression of both self-flagellation and self-deprecation, both of which are, in themselves, often harmful tropes. Alas, the trope in question here; "you must love yourself before you can expect someone to love you", often appearing in many similar forms, is the one the present author whishes to admonish - much like the present author wishes to admonish oneself. To wit, not even taking this statement to its logical extremes - a sort of pseudo-slippery slope fallacy that is often poorly used - is needed to render it inaccurate at best, and perniciously harmful at worst. And while some might simply say "the statement is cruel in that it implies depressed people, or kids with self-image issues don't deserve to be loved" and that would be, indubitably, true, the present author would instead like to use a completely nonsensical, unrelated, and amateurish comparison. For instance; given one (1) person who has cooked a meal - the specific recipe matters not - and another singular (1) person not affiliated with the cooking of the meal but instead being a participant in its consumption, we can quickly and, with a terribly contrived manner, demonstrate the fallibility of this entire "love yourself" trope. Let us say, then, that the singular cook does not like their finished meal, but the other person, infact, loves the meal. For the purposes of this exercise the present author - whose omnipotence in this blog post goes as far as necessary in constructing this G rated scenario - puts forth that the latter genuinely loves the meal and says so, and none of their enjoyment is derived from flattery, social pressure, groveling, or an expectation to be nice. If the present author were to introduce a third, singular (1) person who was then presented with this exact scenario and asked to pass judgement, this observer would likely simply surmise that the cook did not like their meal, but the second person did, and the cook's opinion of said meal does not invalidate the other, and vice-versa. Given this long-winded and wholly pointless comparison, the present author puts forth that it is apt to conclude that no matter how one feels about themselves, said feeling can not and does not invalidate or irrevocably negate someone else's feelings about said person.

The conclusion to this perfunctory and superfluous pursuit is not a subtle, incoherent critique of the objectivity presented by reality based cooking shows where judges ordain supposed quality, but simply to state that, no matter how you feel about yourself, know that you can't control others, who will respond to your behavior as they are apt to, and in the end, all parties involved; self-loving, loved by others, popular, or simply passing away their time in a permanent state of social exclusion, die alone.