Things Die and Things Grow

You used to think you might like programming but then you took a programming class and that killed it, eyes rolling out of their sockets as you stared at the screen trying to find your mistake in vain. You used to think you might like meteorology but you didn't want to be on TV and stuck talking about weather all the time. You used to think you might like astrophysics but once your grades slipped you knew that was a dead proposition and you didn't want to have quite that much advanced math anyways. You used to think you might like journalism but then you grew out of the repetition and lack of creative freedom. You used to think you might like writing but you realized you had no talent and the lack of ability to come up with stories or ideas torpedoed that, stuck going years without a single creative project finished and not for lack of trying, dozens of hours lost brainstorming and staring at a screen and typing up drafts that ran out of steam and had no story in the first place. You used to think you would play video games your whole life but the time commitment and cost got in the way. You used to think you'd travel in your late 20s but you ran out of money and time. You used to think you'd always listen to 200+ albums a year but it became a cost cutting measure to avoid doing so.

You used to think you wouldn't make any new friends or find any wonderful partners but then both stumbled into your life right when several of the former had stumbled out. You lost some other friends recently and they're worried but 60+ hours a week at work and school and the rest spent trying to keep a house together means entire evenings are lost and there's nothing you can do besides fall asleep and wake up next to your favorite person and hope some day you might be able to write again or travel again or check out some new music or even play a game of Overwatch, but until then you cram yourself full of numbers and tests and laundry and yard work and dishes and beautiful sunsets holding hands that are your only escape and hold on hoping it'll be alright. She tells you it will be and you believe her. Maybe you should write a story about it.