Tuesday, March 10, 2015
On the Sustainability of Self-Doubt
When you are 26 years old, and have been, by an large, an abject failure - as demonstrated by truncated pursuits of all things educational, vocational, recreational, or anything in between - the natural inclination is towards self-doubt. Upon repeated instances, its efficacy becomes better, if nothing else, due to familiarity and comfort with consistent pursuit towards self-doubt and prolonged subjugation of self-deprecation. One finds that, whether or not such path is a self-fulfilling prophecy - that is to say, perpetual self-doubt leads to perpetual underwhelming results, thus creating more self-doubt - the end results confirm what one, or in this case, the present author, already know. To have such confirmation is indubitably a valuable experience, if one values repeated instances of disappointment, self-resentment, and underwhelming results from all things related to one's existence. So I say; here's to continued consistency in what I do not achieve, for perhaps in my failings, I have truly achieved something very few have. Whether that's actually a redeemable quality is not a question worth debating, for we all, including this hereto author, know the answer.