Monday, March 9, 2015

The Intricacies of Communication as a Device in Which One Accumulates Friendship

I am not an expert on the means in which one communicates, particularly vis-à-vis "new people," as in, people I have no wrote familiarity or understanding of, with, or to. Alas, I have found  myself - at age 26, no less - in a situation in which I have, again, no familiarity of note of which occurred in my 20s (or, indeed, any decade of my life), and that is, communicating with a woman via the auspices of a "dating site," presumably a site in which people look to advance the state of their "relationships" with other people. What a strange world! Having gone into this with the primary motivating factor being "to acquire friends," the sudden dynamic of messaging someone and then moving onto a point in which one would "hang out" with said someone is rather challenging; not challenging in the way, say, Moby Dick might be to a high school student, but challenging in the way that a totally new thing with limited social cues and little understanding of how to proceed is. In other words, Moby Dick to a 3rd grade student, for a poor comparison that is actually rendered meaningless by having almost nothing in common. To wit, after a period of over 24 hours in which me and the other party involved exchanged messages ranging from how Amazing The Phantom of the Opera is, to how Amazing pizza is, to how shitty homework is, I ventured forth in a way the youth of today's age might sardonically refer to as containing a set of two vowels, repeated, separated by a consonant as the third letter and opening with a consonant as the first letter (one that can, if needed, double as a vowel), with the anxious existential dread of "was that too soon or too forward?" to which I have nothing to calm myself but the hope of a reply, or a "what the fuck, that was too soon," which would at least impart upon me knowledge for future endeavors in this realm. In the meantime, I sit and wait, for my phone to buzz with a message, for the day to get warmer, and for someone, somewhere, to invent a cure for cancer. I bid you adieu, fair reader.

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